Do what makes you happy.

Today, my mum gave me a book entitled:

'You can feel good again- The good news about depression.'

I got cross. Whether that reaction was justified, I do not know. The problem is, for me, and everyone else with a deeply rooted depressive disorder, there is no good news. Or at least it feels that way. And to be told that your illness is due to you thinking about your problems and being almost 'self-indulgent' in your sadness, loneliness, emptiness, anxiety and so on feels almost as though you are being told that this is all 'your fault'. But then, when I showed them this book, someone that knows me well said to me that yes, this person is wrong in saying that you can dig yourself out of such a deep hole, but they have a valid point. You have to do what makes YOU happy. You have to pepper the darkness and monotony of depression with spurts of laughter, enjoyment and impulsiveness, with love, friendship and fun. Depression sucks all of those things out of life until there you have no reason left to live. And so somehow, we have to put it back in. I don't want to, but I have to. For the people who love me. 

That's why doing what makes you happy makes so much sense. I know that if you're depressed, you won't be happy, but you may be able to find some relief, even for a moment. And then, let's just hope those better moments can just become more frequent.